And what concern have you for these people? You let them to be tortured to death. You will do nothing to prevent this. I will not allow it! I say I will make their passing easy, and only now you show concern? You hypocrites!
This is from something I'm working on, but holy shit, I think I just convicted myself.
The character formerly known as Darren Greene is now known as Darren Green. This minor change in spelling was forced upon me by the unfortunate mental associations I make with his last name.
It's also a great excuse for this title.
One of the biggest problems I have with my writing is keeping a consistent style throughout the piece. At the moment, it seems impossible.
In Incursion, there are two scenes that mirror each other. To ensure the link is cohesive, I am working on both at the same time; yet the styles used are so different to each other that they don't even seem like they are written by the same author.
Compare this style in a draft of the first scene:
Nathan put an arm around her, and she began to cry. She buried her head in his chest, and as she did so he took the tea from her and wrapped her in both of his arms. " Ssh. It's okay to think like that, at times like this". With his thumb, he pushed damp strands of her dark hair away from her closed eyes. To his right, footsteps cam close, then stopped. He looked, to see a man in surgical scrubs.
...to the style in a draft of the second:
A light like the fire of a thousand stars burst from his hands. The earth shook, and there was a roar like that of a hurricane. The light poured into Katherine, and she took a deep breath. Still her wound was open, but it had begun to shrink. Darren's arms began to tremble, and he clenched his closed eyes hard. His right hand was like a star upon her brow, and his left like the sun. The wound closed further; now it was barely larger than his hand. Yet his skin had become pale and blue. Each breath was staggered. The light went out.
I can tell you that the style of the second fits the scene, but the style of the first is something I am not happy with. Even if I was, it is so markedly different from the style of the second that it cannot be used. If I were to make a guess, I'd say it has to do with being incapable of writing dialogue-heavy scenes with any great skill.
I'll keep you posted.
You are browsing through entries in the category "Writing".