Christmas Wish List

I've made a Christmas wish list. Looking for last minute gift ideas for the most sex-obsessed evangelical Christian ever? Look no further.

Purchase of at least one gift from this list is required for continued friendship.

Starting the list off is a nice 17" PowerBook. I have an iBook already, a G3 800. Macs rock, even if they are slow as shit. To replace that with a faster Mac, with a much better and larger display, and some decent storage, would rock. Oh, you might as well throw in an iPod photo while you're at it. I mean, you're at the store anyway, right?

The Nikon D70 digital camera (with the 18-70 mm DX lens kit too, cheapskate). This is for me to take more pictures of myself, and isn't that what you all want to see? I guarantee that anyone who buys this for me will get a birthday card with a shot of my bare-naked toenail on it.

Of course, I want to bring all this stuff to the SXSW Interactive festival, so tickets to that and travel and accomodation would be nice.

Of course, I'm always up for the cool posters; this one from Veer is fantastic.

It's difficult to imagine the kind of person who would actually buy me this stuff. They'd need to have an extraordinary amount of money and close to zero sense; the money-to-sense ratio would be tending to infinity here. Put simply, they'd have to be me, but loaded.

And have an executive toy instead of a brain. O, if you don't know what an executive toy is, it's kind of like a toy but without any of the fun.

Remember, purchase guarantees friendship.