To the guy from the Gents in the Roost

There's not much I'm willing to put up with from strangers in the Gents. Though my dislike of peeing in public may seem odd, I do not expect to be criticised for this while waiting for a cubicle to clear. I also do not expect:

• The first thing you suggest to be that someone is in the cubicle skinning up for me.
• When I tell you no, to then ask am I going in to crack my balls.
• When I mishear you the first time, and stupidly ask you what?, to be told You know, crack your balls; have a scat (a phrase I believe, and sincerely hope, you misused).
• To be given the suggestion that, as the cubicles in the Gents are in use, I should head to the Ladies to have a scat in there.

This may seem odd for you to hear, and it is certainly odd for me to say, but I don't like total strangers ask me if I am about to either masturbate, masturbate with faeces or have anal sex. I'm afraid that as my slang is imported from California, I can't figure out exactly what you were talking about; and to be honest, I don't think I want to.

And thanks for reminding me about the American girl who decided her first and last words to me would be a far too graphic description of the sex-life she shared with her boyfriend.

To my regular readers

Obviously, I am a weirdo magnet. If anyone knows how to make this stop, that would be great.

Reading that old blog entry reminded me that I never wrote the follow-up I promised. I'll write it as soon as I can figure out how to make the disasterous sound hilarious.