I am no evil genius

I once had dreams of being an evil genius. My domain would span nations, and all would fall before me.

On Sunday night, I hit a stumbling block. I was trying to threaten Claire. Now, an evil genius should be able to come up with a threat very quickly, and it should be both evil and genius. It's part of the job description.

Unfortunately, the best I could come up with was I will staple your, erm, lip... to, to, something..

What I should have said, and eventually did, was I'll staple your lip to a plank, that will cover your eyes. The only way you will be able to see is if you pull at the plank until you rip you lip in half! Muhuhaha!. But an evil genius should be fast to respond, and I was not.

I guess I'll just have to fall back to the other career path I'm suited for: superhero.